I just wish they’d go away. Seven long years and I’m still waiting for this to be over. Another due date is due as Halloween lurks right around the corner — I guess I’ll find out soon enough.
So, I’m attempting to start journaling again. If what I believe is going to happen actually happens, it would be a tragedy not to record these coming days. If I’m wrong and nothing happens, God help me, have I been right about anything? I’ll explain all of this as I go along, but right now, I just need them to be gone.
October 25, 2022
I’ve never hated anything so completely. I don’t care who they are or who they used to be, I hate them. Aside from my mental health, my physical health has also taken a hit. I’m sick all the time now, I mean, for the past six years I have been battling sinus problems and debilitating lower back pain. I’ll wake up in the middle of the night unable to breathe and sneezing about ten times in a row. I then spend the remainder of the night sitting up in bed with my head hanging down attempting to drain my malfunctioning sinus passage. It’s taking its toll on me. They are the reason for my sickness, being connected to their world, like a bridge, like the bridge of a nose, giving life to the enemy. I hate them.
October 26, 2022
I’ll be happy the day my coffee pot quits talking to me. No more taps on the window or snaps from the water cooler — that’s when I’ll truly be able to move on. That’s when I’ll know I’m alone, finally, free at last. They’ve had seven years to hear the gospel. My hands are clean. I can’t believe I’ve been dealing with this for seven long years. If I had known then it would last this long, there’s no way I would have made it. That horrific first year when the taps first began, I kept telling myself that it would be over soon. And so, here I am, assuring myself that it will be over soon. It feels good to talk about it though. I figured I had given up on journaling for good, but all those years ago when I needed a secret outlet for all my woes, I have returned to my self-prescribed therapy. I’m doing it sober this time around, so, we’ll see how it goes.
October 28, 2022
The Apple and the birdcage 