I cleaned out my mom’s garage this weekend and came across two trunks filled with my brother’s things. Birthday cards, letters, and tons of pictures made up most of the contents, but I also found his red spiral notebook he used as a journal during his first and second stays in Yellowstone National Park. I’ve read through a few entries, and while it’s a difficult task, it’s also a refreshing reminder of who he was. Grief can take away so much and blind our memories of the loved one we’ve lost. It’s been six years since his things were haphazardly tossed into those two trunks and pushed into a corner somewhere until the prolonged stage of mourning finally receded.
Yellowstone has been a staple in my family since Kirk became an employee back in 1994. I also went on to work there, my best friend/half-aunt/roommate worked there, my ex-sister-in-law worked there, my brother worked there a second and third time, and we both returned for a visit at least once. Yellowstone is a geologist’s playground, an outsider’s paradise, a drifter’s final destination, and any nature lover’s dream. It is the perfect place to get lost in and the perfect place to be found. It is, as my brother and I can both attest, heaven and (quite literally) hell on earth.
While both of our Yellowstone journals provide reflective contemplation of two tortured souls, my brother at least attempted to record his many adventurous hikes and bear encounters. I am toying with the idea of sharing his entries on this site, but I have yet to make up my mind. What would be the point? Would he even want me to? For now, here is a less invasive entry from my brother’s journal which he titled himself, The Yellowstone Experience.
14 hour hike | 7:30am to 9:00pm | 8/30/1994
Went hiking a couple of days ago to the Flat Mountain. The walk there was rough – everything was burnt from the fires in ’88. When I reached my destination (five miles later at 100 degrees east) the forest opened up. The area was untouched by the fires and huge fir trees and yellow meadows made up the landscape. The Flat Mountain rose above the Lake Yellowstone arm and I was on a rocky ridge overlooking it all. I yelled “This is fucking incredible!” I then heard a bear moan below me. I freaked out!! I started yelling and singing hoping to scare the bear off. There was a distinct trail along the ridge. I started walking down it very fast, noticing the bear claw marks on the trees and the bear scat. I pulled out my pepper spray and I didn’t know whether to run or to climb up a tree. I made it to a meadow below the ridge. I noticed a group of caves below where I was standing. My friend was inside somewhere. At this point I was farther away from the bear and I felt a little safer. I noticed this metal thing in the distance and went to check it out. It was a big drainage pipe caged in on both sides. I figured it was a cage used to relocate a troubled grizzly bear. I was extremely nervous. My mission was to climb Flat Mountain and I thought about going home. I figured I’d feel like a wimp if I didn’t climb it so I continued on. The Flat Mountain was flat from a glacier that moved through it. It was really rugged 200 feet from the peak. (Many boulders and orange pillars) I grabbed on to tree roots and secure rocks to help myself up. There were bear claw marks all the way up. Halfway up, two bald eagles flew over me. I got a really good look at them (awesome). I took this as a good omen and figured I’d make it out alive. At the top I enjoyed an incredible view. I could see the whole lake and the red mountains. I ate dinner and noticed it was getting late. To save time, I slid down a steep part of the mountain. It was much easier than the way up but I ruined a pair of pants and cut up my hands. I sang and made noise all the way home (I was getting on my own nerves). I took the same route home and saw claw marks all the way. The walk home was rough. I was worn out from climbing the mountain. I returned home a little after sunset and saw a cool lightning show. Awesome hike!!
The Apple and the birdcage 