“Oh that one would hear me! behold, my desire is, that the Almighty would answer me, and that mine adversary had written a book. Surely I would take it upon my shoulder, and bind it as a crown to me.” (Job 31:35-36 KJV)
To give an account of this thing, it seemed like an impossible task. At times, my brain was so scrambled I couldn’t even think straight or hold a concrete thought in my head, and other times, death seemed like a welcomed cure, but I had to make sense of it all. I had to put the pieces back together again. I had to start at the beginning and read through those blog comments, those dark sentences that bit like a viper’s tongue. Who were those people? Did I really believe that all those comments were from little green men? Did I really believe that the alien, Stella Phoenix, was responsible for sending me the Stand by Me screenshot? Well, no, not exactly. Out of all the strange comments and emails I received, I can say with certainty that a woman by the name of Rosemary Tantra Bensko was involved. A published author who writes under the name, Tantra Bensko, she won the gold medal for her psychological suspense thriller, Glossolalia, from the Readers Favorite Award. Tantra also teaches fiction writing through the UCLA X Writing Program, Writers.com, and her own online writing academy. Before any of this began, I received an email from her asking me what kind of novel I was working on. “A memoir,” was my reply.
With two fiction novels on the backburner, I decided to write a memoir about my experience with sexual abuse. It weighed heavy on my heart at the time and I figured, if I was going to be an accomplished writer, this was the way to do it, to help people and to relate to other victims. I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to do something that really made an impact and not gloss over the truth with some distorted fiction novel. I made it about ten pages in before River’s story hijacked my blog, and my life. Before my blog made the transition from random posts from an aspiring author to solving the death of River Phoenix, I noticed that Tantra had started following my blog at about the same time she sent the email. I remember being excited about it. I figured, hey, she’s a published author, maybe she can help get my foot in the door. A few months later, after my fiery trial was underway, I received this comment:
Tantra Bensko (10/28/15 at 6:13pm)
That sounds terrifying. I’m so sorry to hear that. You’re a rational person by nature. I know that. If you feel you’re going through something mentally amplified, maybe look into what might be causing a slight imbalance of chemistry not only in the first brain, but in the second, in the gut.
People can go through phases influenced by shifts in neurotransmitters. High dopamine levels can be associated with seeing patterns beyond what are there. There can be a variety of causes for that, including Candida overgrowth, which can cause a sense of instability and anxiety.
For example, if serotonin is low, dopamine can go high. You probably know this, but a good way to bring up serotonin is by avoiding simple carbs and replenishing the gut with probiotics through raw fermented foods and killing off the harmful bacteria with herbs such as oil of oregano.
October 28, 2015 – the day my brother died a year later. 6:13pm – my birthday. The second brain. The gut. Neurotransmitters. Patterns. Anxiety. Fermented foods. Killing off harmful bacteria. You probably know this…it’s the language that, literally, three weeks later, got under my skin when I was passed through the fire unto Moloch. So, what do we know about Rosemary Tantra Bensko? Well, her award-winning novella, Glossolalia, is about government mind control, the occult, and a female protagonist who falls down the rabbit’s hole. Sound familiar? The novella, released in 2016, is part of a series she calls, The Agents of the Nevermind. To be clear, “glossolalia” means “the phenomenon of speaking in an unknown language” or speaking in tongues, which was the case with the above comment, and possibly, some others as well. About a year ago, I listened to a podcast interview with Bensko in which she claimed to have been raised by a family who belonged to the Order of the Rosicrucians, an esoteric group not unlike the freemasons. After researching her online presence, her Facebook, blog, Twitter, and Pinterest accounts, it would be difficult to conclude that she was into anything but occult teachings. Her witchcrafts, though subtle and unseen by the unlearned, became apparent to me on her Facebook accounts. One under Tantra Bensko and the other under Rosemary Tantra Benkso, she shares posts and then comments about her stuff while linking them to her other self. The witch’s circle. On her Pinterest account, I also noticed several pictures of River in which she filed under Euphoria. And so, we have the lion (River), the witch (Rosemary Tantra Bensko), and the wardrobe (her book, Glossolalia).
And then we have the mockers. One of the first comments I received on September 23, 2015 was from someone calling themselves DP. They used a brown WordPress generated avatar which is a unique image generated by the program usually made up of geometric lines and shapes. In Hinduism, an avatar is “a manifestation of a deity or released soul in bodily form on earth; an incarnate divine teacher.” So, we have the word of a god, or the word of an alien. DP or Dp is a symbol for the Greek currency known as the drachma coin. In other words, a golden god. The brown avatar symbolizes the color of seed, like a virus being planted in the brain, their words became the tares among the wheat. The deity DP left the following comment on a post I had titled, I Want the Followers to Lead, about celebrities being ruled by the powers that be:
“That’s right… Line 16. Line 17. Line 21. Line 22. This has been my belief for some short while and I intend to get inside. Not for any old reason. Music is not just any old reason. Line 23, I’m a year older than he. It took a while but I found the answers I sought, I found the key. If you need inside knowledge, you may turn to me. How best to commune in secrecy? Have to be careful, you see. Don’t want my plan to fall short of greater good. Understood? Wish to turn the inside out.”
I assumed (of course) that the comment was in reference to the post, but I now see it for what it truly is – a mockery of my word. The singsong writing style of the comment is a mockery of my own writing style as a young adult. It is the dark sentences of witchcraft dictated with the intent of cursing me by my own word. To dissect the first sentence, notice they skip over the three lines 18, 19, and 20. There’s that number three again – the godhead – the water, the word, and the blood. The three lines are skipped between “Line 16. Line 17. Line 21. Line 22,” and so we have the middle or these three as one. When DP writes, “I intend to get inside,” here, we have a reference to the holy marriage or connecting with a dying god. This is exemplified again with the admission, “I found a key.” The use of the phrase, “Line 23, I’m a year older than he,” is an assertion of how old River was when he died (23), as well as how old I was when I worked at Yellowstone National Park. I also celebrated my 24th birthday in Yellowstone, which would make me one year older than he. And so, we have another circle. Looking at my journal writings from age 18, 19, and 20 (the middle), and then narrowing it down to age 19 (the middle of the middle), and then looking at the date that I arrived in Yellowstone (May 15, 2001) a month before my 24th birthday, we get a journal entry titled, Gradual Me written on May 15, 1997 when I was 19. This is the “music” or the “old reason” in which DP was referencing. To quote the last sentence, “wish to turn the inside out” – this journal entry was the intended target. It is the hangman’s noose tied by my own hands some twenty years ago.
Gradual Me (May 15, 1997)
Gradual can’t you see that it’s me? I’ve fallen behind in time. Personal pain has taken my sane, you ask me how, no, I’m just fine. Reflection denied from my very own eye, it seems I have let me go. Creation is weak, I care not to speak for words will refuse to flow.
Gradual me from a beauty in sight, a face now unworthy of light. Gradual me to redeem not again, it’s lonely where I have been. Too lonely here where I’ve been.
Gradual find me in space still unknown where vanity lives in the head, as if in a dream by chance it will seem that I am already dead. Like an alien being or an outcast in sin, I hide and I take it within. Look at me now in my days of somehow I’ve turned into fear I am dim.
All the elements can be found in this poem. And so, like an alien being, a year older than he, I was forecast to be one of them. Like the limestone (calcium deposits) on the active volcano known as Yellowstone National Park, I was set up to become a golden god. This is the riddle of the sphinx.
As my blog became inundated with even more bizarre comments, I also noticed an increase in the number of followers I received. One such follower used a username with a seven-digit number that matched my current phone number. Although I didn’t know it at the time, I had become a conduit, a transmission medium serving as an electrical line to the golden gods. Much like the seven-digit phone number for my cell, the seven chakras, seven wheels, and seven unclean spirits had found a connection, a receiver through my brain cells. It all led back to that phone call I received at work after returning from a long Labor Day weekend. The blinking red voicemail light, the sound of white noise, the man’s voice that muttered something like thinner or bitter, two loud bangs and then more white noise before the message ended – it was the catalyst of all that was to follow, a close-encounter of the third kind.
Astronomer and UFO researcher, J. Allen Hynek, created a system of classification for UFO encounters. A close-encounter of the third kind includes encounters in which an animated creature is present. These include humanoids, robots and humans who seem to be occupants or pilots of a UFO. Aside from Rosemary Tantra Bensko, my online “friends” were just that – animated creatures brought to life via the worldwide web. They were strange gods that came newly up, a people of a deeper speech that I couldn’t understand. Telepathy, the overpowering voices in my head, the feeling that I was constantly being watched – I had been abducted without actually leaving planet Earth. My mind had been abducted by the blue light spectrum, by Blucifer, by the machinist. The aliens formed an electromagnetic field around me, an evil net, that plucked me out of a sea of energy. They came at me like waves and I was tossed to and fro, driven by the moon’s gravitational pull. That’s what the shaking was. That’s what caused my body to tremble and shake during and after the flood. I had been brought into synch with The World, oscillating and vibrating, swinging to and fro in a cycle of repetition in a steady rhythm like a guitar string. I was literally being played like a musical instrument or like a puppet on a string.
Scientifically, electromagnetic waves are synchronized oscillations (back and forth movements) of electric and magnetic fields that propagate (spread) at the speed of light. We can think of these aliens, these golden gods, as electromagnetic waves that bring people into synch with them. After all, humans also have an electromagnetic field. In mechanical or electrical systems, the phenomenon known as resonance occurs when one object vibrates at the same natural frequency of a second object forcing that second object into vibrational motion, like string resonance on a guitar. Thus, the golden gods, the dying gods, and the victims/initiates vibrate on the same frequency, buzzing and oscillating in unison like a three-note chord or a triad. They are of one mind, one body, and one heart – these three as one, being of one accord.
In the movie Explorers, River’s character’s name is Wolfgang Müller, the first name being made famous by the prolific composer Mozart. So, here we have a reference to music, the contract, and the devil’s DNA. Here, we have a reference to the music of the golden image set up by the king, set up by the golden god. The name “Wolfgang” means “path of the wolf,” and so we have the beginning (and ending) of River’s genetic code layered into his character’s name. In other words, we have the beginning (and ending) of the water cycle. The last name, “Müller,” also holds significance. A German name meaning “miller,” the last name describes the profession of a person who operates a mill (a machine). So, the path of the wolf is to become a machine that converts wind into energy like a windmill, like a spinning disc or wheel, a chakra, or like a wheel set sail by the flow of energy. A mill is also used for grinding grain into flour, or in this case, an alchemical process of breaking down material into a new substance. Thus, Wolfgang Müller builds a spacecraft, travels the universe, and then returns safely back to earth.
The electromagnetic bubble in the movie (the blueprint for the spacecraft) is generated by a microchip built by River’s character. The symbolism behind this leads us back to the concept of mind control, hypnotism, and the sub-conscious. The microchip (which is an integrated circuit) can be thought of as the book or program determining River’s fate. It represents neurons in the brain or cells that transmit information via electrochemical signals. It represents the beginning and ending of his life imitating his art or the fruition of the word. Like the path of the wolf, the dog returns to his own vomit lest you sear your conscious with a hot iron, pass through the fire, and start the cycle over again. As if trained like a dog to collapse outside of the Viper Room, River’s fall early Halloween morning was initiated by the golden image set up by the king, set up by the golden gods. His mind had been abducted by the blue light spectrum, by the microchip planted in his brain. The aliens formed an electromagnetic bubble around him, and he was tossed to and fro, driven by the moon’s gravitational pull.
The aliens are mockers of God’s Word on a biological platform. They are products of a seed whose fruit is literally the devil’s DNA. Cell by cell, like the birth of Stella Phoenix, they evolve into strange gods from a strange vine bearing strange doctrines. After passing through the fire, that corrupt seed is planted and has the potential to spread like cancer, cell by cell, like a canker worm devouring an apple, or a strange god taking over the mind. Had I not been a born-again Christian, and had I not asked Jesus into my heart, had I not diligently sought after God’s Word, had I not prayed continuously for wisdom, understanding, deliverance and healing, that canker worm would have devoured me completely. In the end, it comes down to this: whose word is in your DNA?
When we consider the godhead (the Spirit, the Word, and the blood agreeing in one) in terms of biology, we can think of the atom. Composed of three tiny particles (protons, neutrons, and electrons), atoms are the basic units of matter and the defining structures of elements. The protons and neutrons make up the center of the atom called the nucleus, and the electrons fly around above the nucleus in a small cloud. So, we have the word and the blood (the nucleus) and the spirit (the electrons) agreeing in one atom, which is the defining structure of an element – the human body. The word “nucleus” is a Latin word meaning “the seed inside a fruit,” and it is where most DNA is stored. Thus, the word (DNA) and the blood agree in one nucleus, and likewise, the seed (the word) inside a fruit (the body). Electrons act as the primary carriers of electricity in solids. They can be thought of as the spirit that gives life, or the light (the electricity) that activates the word, i.e., the DNA of the fruit. Here, we have the concept behind the physical transformation that occurs after being passed through the fire to a dying god. When the kundalini flame is sparked (the devil’s DNA), the corruptible seed has the potential of taking over the human body. In my case, that seed was imbedded in my poetry, journal writings and books. In River’s case, it was found in his movies, but for both of us, life began imitating our art. It is the vital difference between the incorruptible seed of the Word of God (Jesus Christ) vs. the corruptible seed of man. In terms of biology, we can think of these two concepts as DNA vs. RNA.
Both DNA and RNA function together in the human body, one keeping the genetic information and the other decoding that information. DNA stands for deoxyribonucleic acid while RNA is ribonucleic acid. Although both carry genetic information, there are a few differences between them. DNA is a double-stranded molecule while RNA is a single-stranded molecule. Both have a phosphate backbone, but DNA contains the sugar, deoxyribose, while RNA contains the sugar ribose. The difference is that ribose has one more -OH (Oxygen and Hydrogen) group than deoxyribose, because of this, DNA is stable under alkaline conditions while RNA is not. DNA stores genetic information, but RNA acts as a messenger and is responsible for decoding and transferring that information. DNA is self-replicating and RNA is synthesized from DNA on an as-needed basis. Once the kundalini flame is lit, however, RNA is like a rogue virus that breaks away from DNA becoming its own god with a different set of rules and a new author.
Biblically, we can think of RNA as Cain and DNA as Abel, one which functions on faith and reliance on God (double-stranded DNA) and the other relying on itself and its own works (RNA). By faith Abel offered unto God a more excellent sacrifice than Cain (Hebrews 11:4) who was a tiller of the ground and offered the fruits of his own labor. Abel, on the other hand, was a keeper of sheep, likewise, DNA is a keeper of genetic information. As stated in the previous chapter, the 22 genetically encoded amino acids can be thought of as the letters of the words of the book of DNA. Interestingly, the below verse contains exactly 22 words:
“And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.” (Genesis 4:2 KJV)
And in the verse where Cain kills Abel, once again, we have a total of 22 words:
“And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Genesis 4:9 KJV)
Abel was a keeper of sheep, a keeper of God’s Word. Cain kills Abel and asks, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” signifying that God’s Word (DNA) is no longer his concern. “I know not” Cain replies when asked where Abel is. In other words, RNA is no longer taking genetic orders from DNA. Certain molecules found in RNA called ribozymes are capable of catalyzing biochemical reactions. When this happens, they undergo self-cleavage of their own backbone to produce two RNA products. In laymen’s terms, RNA has the potential of becoming self-reliant by cleaving to its own backbone. Like Cain, RNA relies on itself and its own works. A tiller of the ground, of dust, and of flesh, Cain concerns himself with building an earthly temple, another house, and another double-stranded RNA structure through self-cleavage. No longer its brother’s keeper, RNA transcribes and rewrites the DNA code. New patterns of life emerge as a new genetic code begins taking shape, and shapes, as it were, are an extremely important factor.
Amino acids are the building blocks of proteins which play a crucial role in almost all biological processes. The shapes of proteins are of key importance and are determined by the sequence of amino acids that make them up. These shapes are produced through a process known as protein folding which occurs during the translation process via messenger RNA. Transfer RNA decodes the message and the proteins then form a linear chain (like a boxcar train) of amino acids. The structure of proteins begins to take shape through something known as the hydrophobic effect. The word “hydrophobic” literally means “water-fearing” and refers to the nine amino acids that have hydrophobic side-chains. These amino acids have the tendency to cluster together in an aqueous solution (like the human body) and exclude water molecules. This then maximizes hydrogen bonding between water molecules. A good example of the hydrophobic effect is the separation of oil and water. High levels of salt also increase the effect. This is, essentially, the concept behind River’s death and can also be found in the Bible. In Genesis Chapter One, God gathers the waters into one place exposing the dry land. Starting after “And God said,” the verse contains 22 words:
“And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.” (Genesis 1:9 KJV)
The 22 amino acids are the building blocks of DNA and RNA, likewise, they are the building blocks of proteins. Each protein has its own precise function under the direction of its own gene, and the hydrophobic effect has a direct influence on the structure of proteins. Minimizing the number of hydrophobic side chains exposed to water is the driving force behind protein folding. Likewise, the hydrophobic effect occurs when the protein side-chains fold and collapse. When awakening or rekindling the kundalini flame (the flood), rapid dehydration occurs, and water, though craved, seems to magnify the experience. The physical transformation occurs when the amino acids (or proteins) are gathered together, rearranged, and folded into a new structure, a retrovirus where DNA is transcribed into RNA, and then RNA is translated into proteins. Like resetting the biological clock, all ten organ systems fall under the rule of the new genetic code. The author of “Cain’s race” is the serpent, and through the holy marriage, that seed is awakened.
In direct contrast to the hydrophobic effect, hydrolysis (hydro meaning “water” and lysis meaning “to unbind”) is the separation of chemical bonds by the addition of water. In RNA, the sugar-phosphate backbone is degraded and broken down during hydrolysis. It is the reverse of dehydration synthesis in which two molecules join together into a larger one. Dehydration synthesis means “to put together while losing water.” This, combined with the hydrophobic effect, is the process by which the kundalini flame is awakened and explains the sudden feeling of rapid dehydration. And while dehydration synthesis joins together molecules, hydrolysis adds water to breakdown those chemical bonds. A common kind of hydrolysis occurs when salt is dissolved in water. Unlike DNA, RNA is much more susceptible to hydrolysis due to the sugar ribose having one more –OH (oxygen and hydrogen) group than deoxyribose. The implication here is that the new genetic code (the RNA virus) is eventually degraded and broken down by water, both physically and spiritually. That spiritual water being, of course, the Word of God.
In masonic literature, Hiram is presented as the chief architect of King Solomon’s Temple before he is killed by the three ruffians. The three ruffians, most likely, symbolizing the godhead. In the Bible, however, he is described as the king of Tyre who sent Solomon and David architects, workmen, cedar wood and gold to help build Solomon’s Temple as well as David’s house. Symbolically, we can think of Hiram as the 22 amino acids which are the building blocks of DNA. Certainly by no coincidence, the name “Hiram” is mentioned 22 times in the King James Bible. Also by no coincidence, the two verses presented below contain 22 words each:
“And Hiram king of Tyre sent messengers to David, and cedar trees, and carpenters, and masons: and they built David an house.” (2 Samuel 5:11 KJV)
The above verse is the first time Hiram’s name appears in the King James Bible, likewise, the below verse is the last time he is mentioned:
“Now Hiram king of Tyre sent messengers to David, and timber of cedars, with masons and carpenters, to build him an house.” (1 Chronicles 14:1 KJV)
The two repeated verses are symbolic of base pairs which are units consisting of two nucleobases bond together by hydrogen bonds. They form the building blocks of the DNA double helix and contribute to the folded structure of both DNA and RNA. Like the two above verses, they are the beginning and ending of God’s Word, i.e., DNA.
In his book, The Secret Teachings of all Ages, Manly P. Hall describes “sufficient similarity between the masonic Hiram and the Kundalini of Hindu mysticism.” He refers to it as a “Spirit Fire” that moves through the thirty-three segments of the spinal column and is, essentially, the Lost Key of Masonry. What Manly P. Hall fails to mention is that the spinal column, or backbone, is more accurately the sugar-phosphate backbone that forms the structural framework of nucleic acids, like DNA and RNA. Molecules known as nucleotides are linked together through the formation of bonds between the 5-carbon sugar and phosphate, thus forming the sugar-phosphate backbone of nucleic acids. The bases of these nucleotides protrude like the ribs of the spinal column. The 33 segments of the spinal column to which he refers are more accurately the 33 proteins found in something known as the eukaryotic small ribosomal subunit, or in laymen’s terms, the ribosome which contains the decoding center in protein translation.
Found within all living cells, the ribosome is a complex molecule that links amino acids together in the order specified by messenger RNA thereby forming a chain. Just as Eve was created from the rib of Adam, likewise, we can think of the ribosome as the “rib” of the dying god. It serves as the site of translation linking the amino acids, i.e., the letters of the words of the new book of life in a specified order. If those letters are rearranged like an anagram, and “too many secrets” becomes “Setec Astronomy,” a different book of life emerges. We can think of the ribosome as the serpent’s seed and the kundalini flame as the offspring. Once ignited, the physical transformation takes shape. Like a plastic version of God, the RNA virus begins writing its own book of life, thus, life begins imitating art.
To further prove this point, the above anagram is taken from the movie, Sneakers, in which River plays a computer hack. “Setec Astronomy” is translated by him and his friends to “Too Many Secrets.” The phrase “Setec Astronomy” seems to be another veiled reference to this system with “Setec” translating to sea technology. Like the Atlantis-like World where the enlightened-ones dwell, underground and under the sea, the phrase refers to the technology or craft of the golden gods. The word technology literally means “science of craft,” or in this case, the science of witchcraft. Astronomy, of course, refers to the study of the stars. So, we have the biology of the aliens or the fruit of the devil’s DNA. We have the star known as Stella Phoenix.
“But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.” (2 Corinthians 11:3 KJV).
At the height of my fiery trial, I had no real understanding of DNA, RNA, amino acids or any of the biological processes described above. I only knew that it was spiritual, and as confused as I was at the time, I knew the simplicity that is in Christ. I didn’t recognize my own body or thought patterns. My five senses deceived me, my mind confounded me, and my very flesh warred against me, but I clung to my King James Bible for dear life. I was (and am) able to stand in the fiery furnace with the Truth by my side – the Son of God, but what if those letters and words had been rearranged like an anagram and the Son of God became a son of the gods, or a divine being, or an angel? What if I had opened up my Bible to Daniel 3:25 to find that the fourth walking around in the fiery furnace with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego had been a golden god, or an alien? This deception found in most other translations of the Bible seals my belief that the King James Bible is the true Word of God. With everything that I’ve been through, and everything I’ve experienced, as far as I’m concerned, every other version of the Bible is a mockery of God’s Word, and I hate every false way.
The aliens are mockers of God’s Word on a biological platform. In fact, they are mockers in every sense of the word. Like pharaoh’s magicians in Egypt, they parrot the workings of God in an effort to be like the Most High. And much to my horror, they were mockers of my word as well.
After setting my blog to private and stepping away from it for a while, I decided to log back in a month or two later. I was going to expose this thing once and for all. Now that I knew the meaning behind the water thing, now that I knew the truth behind River’s death, I was going to pick up where I’d left off and finish what I’d started. I was going to finish River’s story. I took all my old research (my old blog posts and pages) and placed them under a separate link titled, The Murder of River Phoenix. It was the title of my old blog. My new blog, however, I named The Apple and the Birdcage. This was to be, not only the true story of what happened to River Phoenix, but also an exposé of the so-called Illuminati. Using River’s story as an example, I was going to blow the case wide open. It took me about a year to finish. Occasionally, I’d receive an email or comment from someone tied to my old blog. They claimed to know about River and whether or not he faked his own death, and they claimed to care about my well-being. As was the case then and even now with this current endeavor, I ignored and quickly deleted their words. Sometimes I’d read their comments; sometimes I didn’t, but their words have no relevance anymore.
I waited. After finishing my first account of this thing and publishing it on my blog, I waited for something to happen. I didn’t know what, exactly, but something, anything, was bound to happen. Surely, the word would spread. Surely, someone would believe me. Surely, all was not in vain. I checked my blog stats and admittedly became disappointed by the lack of hits. The traffic I did receive, I figured, was from them, although I had yet to discover who they even were. I noticed one blogger named spidercat who frequented my blog quite often, and the name was not lost on me. Spider, aka, the spinner of webs and evil nets. Cat, aka, sex-kitten programming. I knew it had to be one of them, but upon visiting their website, well, I was at a loss.
Staring back at me was my old blog. All my old links were listed (my old research) along with a title that read, The Murder of River Phoenix. The headline featured three pictures, two of which were well-known celebrities with close ties to River whom I had discussed on my old blog. Nestled between those two pictures, in the middle, was a picture of River. It was a mock blog, created by, well, spidercat. Somebody was mocking me. Somebody had taken all my old material and linked it to their own website without giving credit where credit was due. The rest of the webpage consisted of news stories about pedophiles. I didn’t know what to think. It felt, I don’t know, fake, like it wasn’t a real person, like spidercat was some computer-generated personality and not an actual human being. I was admittedly freaked-out by the find, and unsure of what to do about it, I opened up my Bible:
“And he did that which was right in the sight of the LORD, according to all that his father Amaziah had done; Save that the high places were not removed: the people sacrificed and burnt incense still on the high places.” (2 Kings 15:3-4 KJV)
I pondered the above verse, closed my Bible, and then opened it up again to find more verses about high places. High places being made for other gods, sacrifices being made in the high places, men who were ordered to remove the high places – I closed my Bible and then randomly opened it up again: 2 Kings 15:4. I knew what I had to do. From that point on, this became my modus operandi. If I had a question about what was happening, who was involved, or what I needed to do next, I’d ask God and then open up my Bible. I used it as my medicine cabinet and my guide. Here a little, there a little, I found out the account by flipping through my King James Bible. So, I tore down the high places by ripping apart my blog and then deleting it entirely leaving spidercat’s blog with broken links, or more to the point, a broken circle. I then discarded my old domain name, midnight-rant.com. The mockers, like my old friend Midnight who clued me in about Jack the Ripper, would have to find a new platform.
Not long after, say a month or two, I started a new blog with a new domain name, and with the Bible as my guide, I set out to post all of my old journal entries – a daunting task. I was on to the whole word thing and my own word being used against me. Like King Belshazzar who shook at the knees when a man’s hand came out of nowhere and wrote upon the plaster of the wall over against the candlestick, I trembled and dripped with sweat as if detoxing from a drug. And I was. I was detoxing from the fruit of my own word.
It was three years into this thing, in the early days of September 2018, when I fasted to find out the account. I went nearly three days without eating, and although my body suffered the effects of a weakened state, exhausted and worn down, my mind gained clarity. Here a little, there a little, I flipped through my Bible and prayed for God to show me the account of this thing. What were the taps at my window, what was going on with the neighbor’s house, and why did he allow this thing to happen to me? What did happen to me anyway? As he started answering those questions for me, I became even more confounded. Worker crews drilled holes in the cement outside of my office building as if mocking my newfound revelations. The golden gods, the dying gods, and Lazarus being raised from the dead – it wasn’t possible.
Untitled 9/24/18
I needed to be alone. Maybe a walk down the beach or a drive somewhere with the windows down would help clear my mind. How long, Lord? How much more can I endure? When will this nightmare end? I made a promise to myself that after today, after this last time prophecy had come and gone unnoticed and unfulfilled, I was done.
Nine AM and the morning crept by as it always did at our fledgling newspaper. All was quiet. I checked the news headlines again, scrolled through the tired political controversies that never found resolve and finally clicked on some entertainment news that vaguely piqued my interest. “Nothing’s going to happen,” I thought, “and if it does, well, then I’ll know.”
The last three years of my life had finally taken their toll. I couldn’t fake my way through it anymore. Each new day piled up behind me like the mounting chaos of a hoarder’s two-car garage. No outlet, no escape, no end – I needed an end. “I’ll hang on for one more day, Lord, and then, I’m letting go.” It was too much for even me to endure. Me, the science fiction novelist/conspiracy theorist who was open and apt to believe in the most farfetched and outrageous of claims, but this took the cake. It was nothing I could speak aloud to friends or family or coworkers. It was nothing I could adequately explain or even fully wrap my head around. It was, quite possibly, the biggest mystery, the biggest controversy ever to befall mankind and who was I in the grand scheme of things?
Monday morning dragged by uneventfully as conversations and office chatter grated on my nerves. Ringing bells, passing trains, throats clearing over and over and over again – I supposed a big part of me wanted the dam to break. Everything fell into synch again like those first nightmarish days three years ago when this thing overtook my life. I had come full circle, hadn’t I? Had I miscalculated again? Maybe another two months, maybe three, end of the year, maybe come this time next year It’ll be over? Maybe not? Maybe another two years, minus three days, account for leap year, subtract another thirty-three seconds and add fifty minutes for good measure? Enough. I wanted the waters to spill out over the whole earth if it meant just a little peace of mind.
Fifteen past noon and my stomach pleaded for a lunch I had no desire to eat. “If this thing happens,” I thought, “it’ll be tonight.” I pulled up a moon phase calendar for September 24, 2018 and checked to see if it would be full tonight – yup. A full moon on Moonday, a perfect day for the sky to fall. My prayer the night before was a simple one, “please deliver me from this, Lord. Please, scatter my enemies and deliver me from this thing.” Through countless days and nights of searching scripture and praying for guidance, I was led to believe (either by God or by my own folly) that something significant would occur on this date. I’d become one of those lunatics, but my prophecy didn’t include the end of the world or the return of Jesus Christ. My prophecy would mark the end of my world (my nightmare) with the return of a dead movie star.
The three o’clock hour rolled around as Monday afternoon crawled toward evening. I sat behind my outdated computer at my outdated job and contemplated the dream I had all those years ago. It all fit together so perfectly in that moment. Halloween Town, the death of River Phoenix, the blinking lights on the alarm clock – wake up, wake up, wake up. It was all quite clear to me in that moment.
Untitled 11/25/18
It was time to be honest with myself. It was time to be honest with God. I was irritated and flat out angry with Him. Why wouldn’t He deliver me from this? Why wouldn’t He remove the many thorns in my side, and in my back, and in my head, especially in my head? Why did He allow this thing to keep chasing me down? Why did He allow my enemies to triumph over me? How long was I supposed to play the role of Job? Even Job finally saw an end to his misery. I answered in my own heart that this was my life now, and like it or not, it wasn’t going away until I drew my last breath. That’s the truth I didn’t want to admit. This is my life now and the fact that I wasn’t dead by my own sword was my deliverance. Them, the others, it, the spiritual wickedness in high places – they were never going to leave me alone. They were never going to reveal themselves. They were never going to give me closure. They were never going to disappear and return from whence they came. That would be showing mercy and evil shows no mercy. I knew that. Only God could (or would) reveal the secret things and I figured he would do so in his own time. I figured he would do so when the world was near its end. As for my prophecy about a dead movie star being reborn, well, I figured that was the big secret that the freemasons or any other secret society didn’t want anyone to know about. That was the big secret, wasn’t it? Golden idols carved by their own hands. Maybe I was crazy, but that’s where my story ended and began.
Now, nearly a year later, I’m stranded in that same spot – waiting for deliverance, waiting on God, waiting for something to happen. Something big. Something that will cause a paradigm shift in the minds of the masses, and a part of me wanted it to happen. How evil is that? A part of me wanted this thing to befall mankind because only then would it truly be exposed. People would have to experience it for themselves. And when it does happen (and believe me, it’s coming) I’ll wish it hadn’t because nothing will ever be the same.
Apocalyptic prophecies aside, what about me? I have a seed planted in my brain that has yet to come to fruition, but I remain hopeful. Hopeful that I’m not crazy and hopeful I haven’t been led astray. Every now and then I’ll Google one of River’s friends or family members to see if they’re giving out any hints or clues. Do they even know about me? Do they know about my blog? Is it all in my head? Was I wrong in thinking that, they too, had long been expecting their loved one’s return from the dead? Was the same seed planted in their brain? I had the thought that maybe, after all these years, all their songs and movies and art were an effort to resurrect River with their words, their music. And maybe, by the Word of God, he was literally born again. I sure hope so. If River Phoenix is alive, I hope to meet him someday soon.
As for me? I need a change. A change of scenery. A change of pace. I need something besides this. And I’ll be honest, if this is where I’m left, waiting, wondering, broken-hearted and disillusioned, I would rather the Lord just go ahead and take me home. I can’t give you a happy ending. I can’t tell you that I’m joyful in faith and content in my walk with God. I’m traumatized, a little bitter, and angry that this thing happened to me. I’m irritated by others who seem to worship the entertainment gods and have no idea what it all really means. I wish I was still ignorant of all of this, but with knowledge comes great sorrow, and so that’s where I’m at. I’m hopeful that things will get better, but I have good days and bad days. I’m still plagued by taps at my window, rustling sounds on my keyboard, and loud pops heard throughout the electrical equipment at work that no one else pays any mind. I’m still bullied by this unseen presence that attempts to predict my every move and manipulate my emotions. But I know my enemy. It all led back to Stella Phoenix. On one of the old movie posters for Explorers, blue lights are seen shooting down from the sky behind the wooden fence of a backyard. The subtext reads, “The adventure begins in your own back yard,” and for me, it did. The knocking on the fence, the lights at the neighbor’s house, the whistles that seemed to sound out of thin air – for me, the backyard was ground zero for my strange haunting.
In addition to the numbers located to the right of River, to the left is also a glimpse into the future – my future. Once again, the light from these golden gods reveals itself in a way that still astounds me. Burned onto film like it’s burned into the subconscious mind, the seven colors of the light spectrum form a picture within a picture. Cartoon caricatures appear in the rust and shadows of the blue car depicting three prominent figures along with a black cat. This is, essentially, my prophecy foretold back in 1986. While the prophecy to the right predicted River’s death, the prophecy to the left predicted our coming together via the holy marriage, and so, the left hand comes together with the right hand forming a perfect circle. The screenshot has not been doctored on my end, so, either this was done during the editing process, or this anomaly is spiritual by nature. I’ll tell you what I see:
A young girl can be seen with red hair and what looks like a small butterfly clip on the side of her head. Her eyes are crossed like she’s looking down at her nose, and she’s holding her hand to her mouth as if astounded by something. The young girl symbolizes me, and the butterfly represents monarch programming or (more to the point) spiritual mind control. The concept of my own word being used against me is exemplified by her hand covering her mouth in astonishment. I suppose the young girl could have been anyone, but as it turned out, it had to be me.
Standing behind the young girl is a short male figure. With a balding head, dark beard, blackened eyes, and a round green nose, the man appears to be holding up his arm to present a wrist watch. He represents the timekeeper, the zeitgeist, or the seed of the devil’s DNA. He stands close behind the young girl almost as if he’s whispering in her ear, thus, the concept of spiritual mind control via telepathy. Above his head, the shoulders and long neck of a female cat can be seen. It’s a profile view of a cartoon caricature with large eyes, whiskers, an upturned mouth and a button nose. She represents the seven unclean spirits, the seven sisters of the Pleiades, or the seven colors of the light spectrum. She represents the godhead. She is Stella Phoenix. Behind her are three thick white lines that resemble the prongs of a trident. A trident is the weapon of Poseidon (the god of the sea) as well as the Hindu god Shiva. In Taoism, the trident represents the trinity. The Greek equivalent is a word meaning “threefold.” Thus, the golden god (Stella), the dying god (River), and the victim/initiate (me) – forming a three-note chord being of one mind, one body, and one heart.
To the right of the young girl is a bearded-man with his eyes closed. A red heart inside a gold box can be seen on his tee-shirt. It is a picture of the dying god, or more to the point, River in his coffin. To the right of him is a waterfall symbolizing his fall outside of the Viper Room from the flood. The heart inside a gold box represents his marriage to Stella Phoenix, thus, the godhead. The short male figure with the green nose symbolizes River as a familiar spirit. He represents the seed of his DNA to which his soul was bound. His green nose signifies his soul, thus, giving life to a new alien being.
“And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.” (Genesis 2:7 KJV)
The short male figure also appears to be holding up a piece of clothing (a nightgown or dress of some sort) signifying a new wardrobe and the temporary takeover of my DNA. Directly beneath the piece of garment, a black cat with pointy ears and glowing eyes can be seen. Often associated with witchcraft, the black cat represents the space witch, Stella Phoenix, as well as the earthly witch – Rosemary Tantra Bensko. A white light or spot can be seen on the cat’s belly representing the kundalini flame and the fruit of her witchcraft.
On a side note, I have speculated that Rosemary is probably an acquaintance of someone whose involvement in this story drives down to the very heart of the matter. The voice of her writing style via the comment left on my blog is quite familiar to me. And while I suspect that Rosemary is, most likely, doing the dirty work for someone else, I am far beyond finger-pointing at this late hour. I suspect that the screenshot from Stella Phoenix is from an actual person, and if I am correct, and if she is reading this, at this point in the game, I would urge her to become a true child of God.
When viewed from a different perspective, the black cat appears to morph into an owl, and like black cats, owls are seen as spirit companions to witches. They are a symbol for wisdom and knowledge, and in the Bible, a symbol for spirits. We see this again with the red heart in the gold box. The image appears to morph into a giant four-fingered hand squeezing the red heart. The number four represents the spiritual realm, the four-chambered heart, and the four elements (earth, air, fire and water), thus, the theory of evolution. Here, we have an admission from the golden gods themselves of the angelic realm mingling itself with the seed of man forming the giants, or in this case, the aliens.
The light from these golden gods is seen again in the film when the four boys discover the dead body of Ray Brower. This light appears like graffiti on the trees as the forest reveals faces within faces as well as cartoon caricatures. The images morph in and out of one another forming a variety of characters, none of which look happy. The screenshots have been enhanced to about 200% and the brightness has been adjusted, other than that, they have not been doctored.
On the far left tree we see a skunk that resembles Pepé Le Pew from Looney Tunes. To the left of the skunk’s head is a heart outlined in white in the center of a boy’s chest. Pepé Le Pew is a cartoon character who is always in search of love and in a constant pursuit of a female black cat named Penelope Pussycat. He represents the writing on the wall or the black fire coming together with the white fire, which in turn, produces the fruit of the word. He symbolizes the final destination which is the marriage to a golden god or the godhead. And just like the red heart in the gold box symbolizing River as the dying god, the heart outlined in white also exemplifies this concept – the boy’s heart and soul have been hijacked by the black cat, aka, Stella Phoenix.
On the upper part of the tree appears to be the distressed face of a boy with his round mouth morphing into the other boy’s figure, and on the tree to the right, more images and faces morph in and out of one another. Although not circled, the image on the top right resembles a demented clown of some sort (like the Joker), and below that, a child holding his hands to his face with a blue mask covering his eyes. Below that, we see a mouse, a wide-eyed face without a mouth, and another distressed face at the bottom with their right eye missing.
The far right tree in the picture is perhaps the most disturbing. The face of a troll, or gargoyle, or (to use a Bible term) satyr is seen with glowing eyes and a white dot covering its smiling mouth. Directly below it, a boy’s face is seen with his right eye missing and the same white dot covering his mouth. Here, we have another example of the golden gods taking over the wheel. It is the fruition of the word from the spiritual realm as indicated by the scene in which these images appear. River’s character, Chris Chambers, and his best friend Gordon, a writer, are covering up the dead body of Ray Brower with a black tarp next to a lake. So, we have Gordon (the word) and River/Ray Brower as the dying god. We have the fulfilment of prophecy from the blue truck and the number 236 representing his evolutionary tree. We have an illustration of River, literally, being grafted into that tree via pyramidal neurons located in the brain.
The main job of pyramidal neurons is to transform input into patterned output, thus, they are the building blocks for high-level functions like memory and consciousness – they also resemble trees. River’s life imitated his art when those electrically excitable cells processed and transmitted the above information. Traveling down his spinal column and all the way through his central nervous system, River’s brain deciphered those patterns as the forest became the trees.
In a 1991 interview with the Village View, River described his analysis of his movie, My Own Private Idaho, though he may as well have been describing Stand by Me:
“I saw the film [My Own Private Idaho] for the eighth time last night. The finished version. And on the eighth time, I finally got everything. I got everything about it. The editing … everything. The sound cues, every bit. I felt like I was God. I was a psychic. I knew it well enough to be just one step ahead and take in all this stuff I hadn’t seen before. You know how you know a picture well enough? It was a great feeling. I felt like I was creating a movie just by watching it. It was like a science experiment, a hands-on project. We talked about that, Gus. This thing [the movie] has a lot of lives … um, layers? [River laughs] Words like that sound so lame. But, it’s really textured. The lighting smells.”
Judging from this quote, it’s apparent that River was well aware of the prophetic signs layered into his own movies. And to be clear, the lighting does, indeed, smell.
Whose word is written on the table of your heart? When we consider what’s on the horizon for mankind, this is the question that will ultimately determine a person’s fate. Will you be a part of the Body of Christ, or will you be another brick in the Tower of Babel?
"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV)
To be a part of the Body of Christ is to be yoked together or joined together with Him. It is a spiritual union where the Spirit, the water and the blood agree in one. It is the communion of the Holy Ghost where each member forms one body and one mind, where the seven Spirits of God course through the blood, the bones, and the heart, where the Word (Jesus Christ) is manifest in our flesh and in our spirit. Flip that upside down and the Temple of God (our spirit and flesh) becomes the temple of a god. Engraved in stone on the masonic temple in Washington, D.C. are the words: “Freemasonry builds temples in the hearts of men and nations.” Here, we have an admission of this concept. By the words written upon the table of their heart, these dying gods are turned to stone, and through the communion with a different spirit, a different law is given:
“And he gave unto Moses, when he had made an end of communing with him upon mount Sinai, two tables of testimony, tables of stone, written with the finger of God.” (Exodus 31:18 KJV)
Moses communes with God and is given two tables of stone, tables of testimony written by the finger of God. We can think of the two tables of stone as the two sides of the DNA ladder or the sugar-phosphate backbone. It is the DNA, the law, written by the finger of God. Reverse that and you get the communion and testimony of another god. Just as the deity DP pointed out, “If you need inside knowledge, you may turn to me. How best to commune in secrecy?” The inside knowledge are my own words written upon the table of my heart, and communing in secrecy? Well, that refers to the sin of fornication, the holy marriage, and becoming one with a dying god. The very act of taking communion symbolizes drinking of the blood of Christ, and the bread symbolizes eating of that same spiritual meat, and so we are one with Christ and of the same spiritual body. If we substitute Christ for a dying god, from which spiritual meat are we eating?
I had an idol in my heart, and that idol was pop culture. After passing through the fire, I became one with that idol, namely, River Phoenix. I ate of that same spiritual meat that resulted in his demise, and like feeding the vampire, he ate from my meat as well. The sugar-phosphates of my own DNA linked us together like an invisible ladder, descending and ascending, providing nourishment to the evolving hermaphrodite child, the familiar spirit, or the short balding figure with the blackened eyes. Phosphates are compounds made up of phosphorus which is essential for life. The name “phosphorus” was taken from Greek mythology meaning “light-bearer” or in its Latin form “Lucifer.” Because it is highly reactive, phosphorus is never found as a free element on earth, but in space it is produced during a supernova or the explosion of a star. So, we have the golden gods or the light-bearers, born from the death of a star and nourished by the sugar-phosphates contained in man’s DNA. Like lightning, they flow like plasma in the blood carrying the cells and proteins to and fro until a new star is born.
The golden gods are building a new Tower of Babel, and the dying gods are the untempered morter, the bricks in a pyramid leading all the way up to the heavens and the all-seeing eye of the aliens. They are of one mind, one language, and one body all partaking of the same spiritual meat and drinking from the same cup. As far as I can see, this is the ultimate plan of the anti-Christ – to turn man into stone. Like staring at Medusa, mankind will become the golden calf. Make US gods. Occult and New Age teachings believe that Jesus Christ (if they believe he existed at all) was nothing more than one of these golden gods, an alien, or an Ascended Master who perfected the seven steps of alchemy. They believe him to be a son of the gods and not the only begotten Son of the God. When this lie is written upon the table of the heart, there is no escape.
A fiery trial is on the horizon. When this great mystery is revealed, a paradigm shift will shake the minds of the masses. Faith will be put on trial and a falling away will take place as the wheat is separated from the tares. And as the body of Christ separates itself from Babylon, the golden image shall be worshipped by the heart of man.
“This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, saith the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them;” (Hebrews 10:16 KJV)
I don’t know when all of this is going to happen, soon, I suspect, but only God knows the exact date. When it does happen, it is my hope that this book will be a help to someone. Using my experience as an example and a warning, it is my hope that this memoir will help others who find themselves taken by an evil net. It’s as if everything that happened in my life was leading up to this, this strange thing that happened to me, this great mystery that needed to be revealed. It is the spider web decoded, the unintended symbolism found in my word as if, subconsciously, the world behind the veil had already revealed itself to me, and in fact, it had. To me and everyone else, the prophetic words of the golden gods are revealed to us through subliminal messaging.
A technique used in marketing and other media, subliminal messaging is used to influence people without their being aware of what the messenger is doing. This cAN includE the use of spLIT second FLAshes of text, hidden Images, or subtle CUES that affect the audience at a level below conscious awareness. Case in point, the images found in the movie Stand by Me. This was also the case with the comments left on my blog. After passing through the fire, victims become lost in the forest of their own minds, taken by the evil net of these subliminal messages. Whether they be from music, movies, social media, or their own words, the puzzle pieces of the subconscious mind come back to haunt them. Like the Choose Your Own Adventure or Secret Paths books, victims are led down predetermined paths, and so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy initiated by the golden gods. In my case, it was my word made flesh initiated by God.
I always had the feeling that God had his hand in this thing. Even when things were at their worst and the evil net threatened to replace God altogether, I had the feeling that he was using me for something. As time went on and the dark forest began to clear a little, I had the feeling that he was using, not only me, but my family and friends as archetypes of this great mystery. I wondered if maybe my life, along with the lives of my friends and loved ones, was the word made flesh. Like the allegories and characters featured in the Bible, I had the thought that we were being used in the same way for Satan’s playbook. This revelation is much too vast to explain in full detail (it would require its own book), but through my journal entries I provide a glimpse into this testimony. The question then is why? Why would God do that? Well, I don’t hold all the answers, and I don’t fully understand the spiritual realm, spiritual warfare, witchcraft and everything that goes along with it, but the answer can be found with the death of my brother.
The name “Kirk” literally means “church.” He represents the temple of the dying gods, the pyramid built from human idols, or the church as it were. With all of his problems – the drug abuse, bipolar disorder, and his violent temper – Kirk represents all of those celebrities and musicians who died from drug overdoses and suicides, all of those lost souls who fell victim to this thing, who are stuck in limbo traveling the astral plane – that’s who my brother symbolizes. Not long before his death, he awoke from a drug-induced coma (in limbo) professing that he believed Jesus Christ was the Son of God and that he died for his sins. That’s the picture here. All of these lost souls, like River and Kurt, are being offered one last chance before God brings an end to their world and lets the souls go. Whether they awake from their comas or go on to their long homes, I don’t know, but these idols are being removed. This too was shown to me in a dream.
It was around 2012 when I decided to write my first science fiction novel Just Before Midnight. It was also around that time when I dreamed a dream that, even now, is so vivid and clear to me. I never actually wrote it down like all the others, but I did work it into my novel as a dream that one of my characters had. Still, I couldn’t get it out of my head. It felt more like a night vision than a dream. It felt like it was a vision about the end of the world. Mind you, this is also about the time I began researching conspiracy stuff – the New World Order, the Illuminati, 9/11 being an inside job – I was also listening to Alex Jones every day. But still, something about this dream intrigued me. Something was there. Something besides the New World Order. Something personal.
I thought about the dream again after my grandfather died. His house was in the dream, and we were running to get to it, but he wasn’t there. It bothered me. In the dream and in reality, it bothered me that my Papa Al hadn’t been there. After his death, I thought about the dream and made the connection that, maybe, the dream was coming to fruition. After all, that part of the dream had come true, my Papa Al wasn’t at that green house anymore, but what about the rest? What did it mean, if it meant anything at all? Something is coming down the road, I thought. Is God trying to tell me that I’ll be around to witness the apocalypse? A few years later, when this fiery trial took over my life, I considered the dream again:
Gwen and I were running down the street with thousands of look-alike-men dressed in blue jumpsuits. I remember Gwen was panicked as I dragged her along behind me through the throngs of look-alike men. They were also panicked. It was a chaotic, apocalyptic scene and I remember the sky was on fire, like a sunset with vibrant splashes of pink, orange and red. For miles on end, cars lined both sides of the street with their doors wide open. Gwen and I pushed our way through the working-class drones in an attempt to make it to my Papa Al’s house. That green house on 1813 13th St in Bay City, Texas – that was our destination, that’s where we needed to be, that was home. We pushed through the panicked crowd and raced up that old wooden porch. Everything would be okay. We made it. The place looked empty and I kept wondering why Papa Al wasn’t standing on the porch waiting for us. Where else would he be? Why wasn’t he here? Panic set in again until the front door swung open and my mom appeared in the doorway. That’s how the dream ended.
In my science fiction novel, I describe the dream as a painting that one of my characters created. Through my main character Paige, I pose the question, “I wonder what they’re running from?” to which another character answers, “The truth.” Although I didn’t know it at the time, I had just interpreted the meaning behind my dream. The Truth, of course, being Jesus Christ. The look-alike men dressed in blue are the dying gods or the idols of stone, and the abandoned cars are their chariots. Here’s the translation: it is a vision about the end of the world, but it’s the end of their World.
The green house represents the seed planted and the fruition of that seed. It represents the end of the dark forest and finding my way home. My mom, a faithful Christian, represents my heart. After all, home is where the heart is. And Gwen, my best friend/roommate/half aunt, she represents the light from the golden gods. Gwen, whose name literally means “white” symbolizes the subliminal messaging found in pop culture. Case in point, when all of this started, for Halloween that year she dressed up as one of Roy Lichtenstein’s pop art cartoon girls, thus, that was her face, her character in all of this. To be clear, Gwen is also a faithful Christian with the biggest heart of anyone I know, but she represents the spirit behind the veil. An artist with a love for pop culture and colorful tattoos, Gwen symbolizes the hypnotic water. In the dream, she was panicked as I dragged her along behind me. I had a sense of what was going on, but she was clueless. She was the blank slate of the artist’s canvas, the suggestive mind influenced by the seven colors of the rainbow, or the seven spirits and wavelengths of visible light agreeing in one.
Perhaps most significant is the absence of my Papa Al, or as I called him as a little girl, Papa Owl. He represents the familiar spirit, the time-giver, the zeitgeber, or the short balding figure with the blackened eyes. My grandfather (a King James only Christian) was a retired radio technician for AT&T; he was also a bit of a packrat. Scattered throughout his old green house were various types of radio equipment, mostly oscilloscopes, which are instruments used to analyze waveforms and graph them as functions of time. In other words, the machinist responsible for the entrainment of my brainwaves with River’s; he represents the electromagnetic wave (the alien) that grows at the speed of light, evolving, oscillating and vibrating, swinging to and fro in a steady rhythm like a guitar string. After all, my Papa Al was a master jazz guitarist. And so, we have the word (Gwen), the heart (my mom), and the soul (myself) agreeing in one. We have the achievement of the godhead and the fulfillment of prophecy by the fall of the enemy into their own snare.
“And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand: And if Satan cast out Satan, he is divided against himself; how shall then his kingdom stand?” (Matthew 12:25-26 KJV)
By the fruit of my word, Satan casts out Satan. When this happens, and God lets the souls go, the daily sacrifice shall be removed. Like taking away Jesus, there will be no savior and no atonement for sins. Once the wall is removed, the waves will come crashing through and those with idols in their hearts will fall into a pit. Those who have already been initiated into this thing will need to make a choice: follow Jesus Christ or answer for their sins. It will be like a resetting of the clock, and those who refuse to turn from their ways shall be for a sign and a proverb to the uninitiated. Once this thing is revealed, they too, will need to make a choice.
“But this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel; After those days, saith the LORD, I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God, and they shall be my people.” (Jeremiah 31:33 KJV)
Blog Post 2018
What’s in your DNA? It’s a question that, up until a few years ago, I thought was best left for the scientists.
I’m an average female who stands about five feet, six inches tall. I’m naturally thin with an olive complexion, hazel eyes, and acne-prone skin. I’m allergic to almost any animal put before me (especially horses and cats), my sweet tooth is incurable, and my thick, dark, curly hair is unmanageable at best. These things, for the most part, are unchangeable. My looks can be temporarily altered, and my allergies can be suppressed with medications, but my DNA remains the same. The words have already been written, the letters fixed in place, the book closed until my time here on earth is fulfilled, but what would happen if those words and letters were somehow rearranged? What would be my fate? How would I identify myself? Who or what would I ultimately become? If I allowed the words of my DNA to be rewritten, who would be my creator? Who would become my God? These are not questions reserved for mankind’s greatest philosophical thinkers or the world’s most educated minds. In today’s present climate, where gene editing is an emerging news headline, these are questions that every day folk should be asking themselves. They are, indeed, the questions I asked myself when my own DNA was temporarily hijacked.
I can’t say that I understood these concepts right off the bat. In fact, I had no idea what was happening to me. The sensation was painfully physical, like an invisible fire brought down from heaven; the initial hijacking brought me to my knees as my body twitched and burned from the inside out. I had no concept of what was happening to me, only that it was spiritual. It had to be spiritual. There was no other explanation. In the days, weeks, months, and years following, my life became unrecognizable. The world around me disintegrated into a confusing collage of absurd coincidences and maddening synchronicities that made it impossible to see the forest for the trees. I was a rat in a maze lost in a seemingly normal world that, in my mind’s eye, was anything but normal. Strong delusion surrounded me. My thoughts, my sense of smell, sight and sound, my ability to differentiate between imagination and reality – none of these things made sense anymore. It was as if a witch had cast a spell on me. I felt like poor old Job, my path darkened, my soul vexed, and the waters up to my neck.
The invisible fire changed me. Physically, I suffered through reoccurring skin rashes, body tremors, eye twitches, excessive saliva, numb limbs, and double vision. Mentally, I was at a loss. I needed guidance, someone to explain to me what was happening, a teacher to point me in the right direction, a book to show me the way. I had a limited understanding of the Bible, and while I did read it, the songs on the radio seemed to have much more of an impact. All those lyrics that I knew by heart made more sense than ever before, and they all said the same thing. All those songs, all those musicians, all those bands, they all sang about the same thing. I understood them perfectly. The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Cure, Nirvana, Alice in Chains, you name it, I knew the meaning behind all their veiled lyrics. The layers of the onion were peeled away. I knew the secret to fame and fortune. I was swimming in the same deep waters as my most adored rock gods. I knew who the walrus was. I knew the real meaning behind their album covers. I was learning an unknown tongue through their melodic words. After all, their words I had memorized since my youth, the Bible I had not.
Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. (1 Corinthians 15:33 KJV)
It wasn’t long before I realized I didn’t want to swim in those waters. I didn’t want to learn their tongue. I didn’t want to be like them. I wanted my life back. No more radio, no more social media, no more television – I spent my time immersed in the Word of God. I filled my mind with purified water, and this is where I stand today. I drive to work in silence, study the Bible, pray, study the Bible some more. I ignore the taps at my window, the phantom smells, the static in the air, the lingering effects of a tongue I wish to forget. I stand, having done all to stand, and I thank God I am not one of them.
My adversary has written a book. The pages are found within popular music, movies, art, and even some translations of the Bible. His DNA is layered into the fruits of our entertainment, our blockbuster films and favorite songs on the radio, our weekly television programs, books, paintings and corporate advertisements. His words flow through the airwaves like blood through the veins giving life to an idol shepherd, giving life to a molten image. After passing through the fire, his tongue was revealed to me and his words were like the poison of asps.
In the end, it comes down to this: whose word do you follow? Some priest? The pope? Facebook? You Tube? Your favorite celebrity? Your favorite writer? Your favorite politician or historical figure? Do you follow your own word? Do you follow God’s Word, and if so, which one? Whose word is in your DNA?
“It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.” (John 6:63 KJV)
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
(John 1:1 KJV)
“Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” (I Corinthians 15:33 KJV)
“For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one. And there are three that bear witness in earth, the Spirit, and the water, and the blood: and these three agree in one.” (I John 5:7-8 KJV)
“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” (Ephesians 6:12 KJV)
“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39 KJV)
“Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.” (I Corinthians 6:13 KJV)
“And the spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD;” (Isaiah 11:2 KJV seven spirits)
“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV)
“Sanctify the LORD of hosts himself; and let him be your fear, and let him be your dread.” (Isaiah 8:13 KJV)
“It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools.” (Ecclesiastes 7:5 KJV)
“The stone which the builders refused is become the head stone of the corner.” (Psalms 118:22 KJV)
“Wherefore also it is contained in the scripture, Behold, I lay in Sion a chief corner stone, elect, precious: and he that believeth on him shall not be confounded.” (I Peter 2:6 KJV)
“And thou, son of man, be not afraid of them, neither be afraid of their words, though briers and thorns be with thee, and thou dost dwell among scorpions: be not afraid of their words, nor be dismayed at their looks, though they be a rebellious house.” (Ezekiel 2:6 KJV)
“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” (Galatians 6:7 KJV)
“Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.” (Proverbs 20:1 KJV)
“And the LORD answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.” (Habakkuk 2:2 KJV)
“The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour; thou savest me from violence. I will call on the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.” (2 Samuel 22:3-4 KJV)
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9 KJV)
“And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.” (Isaiah 65:24 KJV)
The Apple and the birdcage 